The first little bit

I don't know how many times in the recent years I've been told that I should start a blog---definitely an overwhelming five or six times. Three by my sister. I've found myself mulling over the idea on a pretty regular basis; mainly due to my desire to keep track of all the little things that happen combined with my inability to write more than a page without my hand cramping. Yes, I have the endurance of a child. Anyways, I found myself sitting on the couch plagued with only mild exhaustion and came to the conclusion that today was the day. I was going to start this project and for once I was going to follow through and finish it, damn it. Flash forward to me staring at the computer screen trying to set up an email, researching different blog websites, and setting up an account all while trying to figure out the focus of my first entry. Then my kids woke up from the world's shortest naps---I was frustrated before I even typed the first word! But I digress. I decided that I would tell a little about myself for those that find themselves binge googling in the wee hours of the morning and stumble across this collection of grammar errors that makes one question my schooling (three semesters of college, thank you very much). 
My name is Brenna. I've had a love-hate relationship with my name since I was little. I love it due to it's originality but as a result of it being unusual, I also answer to Breanna, Brenda, and the ever-so-creative Breena. I am currently a very adult 25 years of age and boy do I have my shit together! I am also adorably sarcastic and highly emotional. The combination produces a whirlwind of stories that can be boiled down to the bitter grits of entertaining. For the most part. Mind you, I'm also annoyingly human and find that my faults and errors tend to outweigh the good bits, as any mother's opinion of themselves tends to be. 
Speaking of being a mother, I have a hard time fully embracing this title. Both of my children were born in a haze of excitement and fear (excitement was totally lacking in my first---I'll explain later) that often feels like a blur of a memory that didn't actually happen to me. I still feel like a little kid that has no idea about anything most days, but I think second guessing yourself every step of the way is normal when taking care of a little human. At least that's what I'm told! All I know is that my life would be empty compared to where I'm at right now if they weren't here. 
Which brings me to my two little firestorms known as boys. My oldest, Leonidas (Leonidas being his "in trouble" name---Leo for short), is a little over a year and a half now. Terrible two's started at one, so I'm an avid supporter of the idea that this phase starts at one and probably never ends. When he's not asserting his independence by yelling "Doppit!" (stop it) or exploring every corner of the house resulting in it looking like we are moving out soon, he can actually be a pretty sweet kid. He's affectionate towards his brother and those around him---with an exception of the little boy in the waiting room at the doctor's office whom he administered an unprovoked, open-palmed slap to the face. Sorry kid. You would never guess Leo was born at 28 weeks by looking at him (hence that lack of excitement and overwhelming fear of his arrival). He's still in the 75th percentile for his size and that's according to the chart for children born full-term. Yes. He's a beast. A gentle beast at least. 
My second son, Asher, is almost four months now. He is such a sweet and tender soul and he puts my lack of patience to shame. From the start he was quiet and even-tempered. He never cries much and I always catch him looking at things that I seem to know what he's thinking. I was adamant that it was impossible to love another baby like I loved Leo, and in a way I was right. It's not that I love more but I love different. Both of my sons have their own space nestled in my heart that are unique in and of their own. Asher is definitely my little sweetheart and our family is so fortunate he's ours. Oh, and he happened to have been born with Down syndrome. Which to be completely open and honest---is included in the list of things I love about the little guy.
Being a mom of two boys under two (pull handful of hair out... NOW!) has it's trying moments. It's a little more difficult for me due to three things: Type 1 Diabetes, Multiple Sclerosis, and Not Enough Chocolate. The third thing is the worst. I happened to have had a terrible pancreas since the age of 13. To pinpoint it a little further---since the day after my thirteenth birthday party weekend. Yeah, what a gift! After loading up on candy, cake, and straight sugar, my mom had decided to schedule a doctors appointment the following Monday due to things that we originally excused as puberty. Just a heads up---if you drink and eat everything in the house and still manage to lose about 30 pounds in a few months---it's not puberty. When I was 24 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis following the birth of Leo. I had some odd numbness creep up one leg in a matter of 24 hours that got the ball rolling on eventually getting an MS diagnosis. My immune system is AWESOME. And lastly, the chocolate thing. I. Love. Chocolate. That mainly sums up the problem right there. 
Besides all that, my life is pretty typical. I have ups and downs like everyone else and I am beyond fortunate to have family and friends who support me in both my struggles and successes. I'm finding as I get older they are the thing that I appreciate the most in life. Without them I wouldn't have made it through all this turbulence. 
So here it is. The beginnings of something that I hope will allow me to keep track of my insane life, give my boys something to muse over when they are older and I'm "uncool", and to connect with people. Here's to hoping I have enough time during nap times to share the little bits with you.