Let me tell you a few experiences of mine that I will boil down to generalities to save the face of some of the shameless men out there....we will begin with what I consider my initiation into the dating field.
So there was this handsome beast of a man that swept me off my feet in the digital dating scene in a matter of a week. That's a lifetime in online dating, people. A lifetime. After a coffee date with this handsome half Brazilian half Italian 6'2" wonder, I felt we had officially screened each other. Tall dark and handsome like my coffee. And I knew right out the gate that this man was not looking for what I was...but I'm also up for a challenge to redirect someone's moral compass so there I was--saving his day.
At his suggestion, we opted for a Friday night of takeout followed by---as he put it---Netflix and chill. Netflix?! Love it. Chilling?! Right up my alley. Combine the two with food?! This man had my heart already... Little did I know what "Netflix and chill" actually meant until it was a little too late.
After getting our dinner from Chipotle we moseyed our way back home and found some Netflix to watch while we ate. Not five minutes after dinner was over he casually mentions, "It's hot, can I take my pants off?" As a really tall bullshit flag (about 6'2") flipped in my mind, I told him no--that it'd be in his best interest to keep those bad boys on.
We continued our evening with a movie and some beer, and I found the need to pee. Exciting right?
As I exited the bathroom, I find a entirely naked man sitting on the couch making uninterrupted eye contact with me. I dropped a flurry of F bombs and asking him who the hell he thought I was while also declaring that the night had now officially ended. A half-assed apology was offered and I found myself shell-shocked that anyone would actually fall for that plan. Seriously. What woman was like, "yeah--I'm okay with this!" The answer should be NONE, ladies.
After my initiation I decided that being off the market for 6 years had made me very naive. The next term that all the kids know and love is "ghosting". This happened to me next.
Venturing into what I felt was a more logical decision for a potential dude, I started talking with a 33 year old single father of one. He was dreamy to a level of WOW. We both hit it off and it seemed every aspect of our lives somehow connected. We had a ton in common and he was really quite pleasant to talk to. We talked via text for over two weeks absolutely nonstop and damn--I really liked this man! Until he seemingly developed a horrible case of ADD and we went from constantly talking to practically nothing in a matter of 48 hours. I found him online on Facebook but his fingers were somehow too damaged to respond to a "are you okay?" text. He ghosted me. Which burned like hell but hey--I'm resilient and decided he just wasn't good enough. Which I repeatedly reminded myself over the next few days of discomfort.
Then came a dude that I had a really good first date and things progressed to a level that I was seriously considering him for the long term grind. But as luck would have it--this guy simply wasn't for me and I found myself at a loss for words over the whirlwind of emotions a short month of dating left me in. Did I mention the emotional exhaustion? No?
I again found myself back at the digital grind of finding someone whose pictures didn't have nipples, neck tattoos, or pictures at the gym. It's a tough world out there ladies!
After talking to a hoard of lawyers, business owners, pilots, ex military, MMA fighters and firemen, I found myself with one date under my belt (great guy just no interest), more texting conversations than I could keep up with, being stood up once (you're a douche, Jason....or Jerry?), and more offers of "Netflix and chill" than I ever thought possible. Ghosting on both ends happened as well... Sorry dudes.
After committing to the grind and being genuine as hell I walk away from this headache of a time knowing two things for sure: time with my girlfriends is a helluva lot more enjoyable and men online are looking for the next best thing, always.
I think I'll stick to keeping to myself for a while as well as filling my free time with things other than responding to 8 million horny pen pals. Ain't nobody got time for that.
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